No Visible Bruises
The Summary (No Spoilers)
“No Visible Bruises” by Rachel Louise Snyder is a work of investigative journalism that digs into the problem of domestic violence in America. The book contains a mix of stories about situations of violence, statistics, conversation with stakeholders, and exploration of solutions.
Touchstones
Three themes struck me throughout this book: the prevalence of domestic violence, the impact on victims which expands to all of us, and the considerations around solutions.
First, prevalence.
“A study put out by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime cited fifty thousand women around the world were killed by partners or family members in 2017 alone. Fifty thousand women. The UNODC report called home ‘the most dangerous place for women’.”
“The United States is the most dangerous developed country in the world for women when it comes to gun violence… The risk of homicide to a person in an abusive situation increases eightfold when guns are present.”
These numbers are significant, both in scope and in seriousness. And yet, as a society we do not take domestic violence seriously. It was not until 1920 that wife beating was illegal in all 50 states, and not until the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 that domestic violence became a federal crime. Still, “more than one billion women globally lack legal protection against domestic violence”.
“The very fact that intimate partner violence is so often addressed in civil court, rather than criminal court, gives insight into how we as a society still view it.”
“Police departments across the country fail to discipline officers for the same crimes that civilians are arrested for every day. A study from Florida between 2008 and 2012 noted that while only 1% of officers remained on the job following a failed drug test, and 7% remained after a theft, nearly 30% of officers with domestic violence complaints were still employed in their same positions a year later.”
This brings us right up to the impact, because so many women feel trapped in these relationships out of a valid mistrust of the system to keep them safe. “An abuser appears more powerful than the system.”
Professor Snyder spends a full section of the book speaking to the question of why women don’t just leave abusive situations. Part of it, as noted above, is the lack of trust in the system to keep them safe. But there is so much more going on. For one thing, the nature of abuse is such that it builds slowly; it is initially able to be written off or justified by those involved, but ultimately progresses to the point that options for escape are limited and dangerous. Leaving an abuser may be a trigger that brings greater, deadlier risk to the situation.
“as dangerous as it is in their homes, it is almost always far more dangerous to leave. Many of them plan. They stay. They bide their time. They keep their children safe. They balance, poised, on the front lines. Hypervigilant… Victims stay because they know that any sudden move will provoke the bear.”
There is often a level of control that, over time, dictates whether, where, and how much a woman can work, who she can interact with and under what circumstances, where she can go. She may be stalked by her abuser such that she has no real freedom to move about the world. She becomes isolated and resourceless. He may provide for her, but does not allow her the means to be able to provide for herself, leaving her without options should she leave. Perhaps she could leave today, but then what? Where will she stay? How will she support herself and her children? Does she have any assets in her name? Will she have the resources to sustain a life without going back to him? Physical abuse may result in disability or brain injury which further limits her capabilities to advocate for herself. He may threaten her children or other loved ones if she tries to leave. And even if she does manage to escape, she may have children for whom there will be shared custody, requiring her to interact with her abuser long term.
Beyond the ways in which women are effectively removed from society through abusive and controlling relationships - unallowed or unable to have gainful employment, reliant on social programs to feed and house themselves and their families - the impact of domestic violence reaches outside the family and home. A study published in 2021 found that the majority of mass shootings begin as incidents of domestic violence. Bystanders get injured and killed. Children who grow up in violent households take that learned violence into their own lives, and the cycle continues.
“Domestic violence, rather than being a private problem, is a most urgent matter of public health… Private violence has such vastly profound public consequences.”
And so, what can we do about it?
Many possibilities were discussed in the book, things that have been tried or studied. The one that was the most thought provoking for me was, surprisingly, related to shelter. Shelter seems like a great idea, and in some cases it is necessary. But this quote really struck me:
“Imagine any other crime where the impetus for change, and the loss of civil liberties, lies with the victim… Shelters have saved the lives of battered women, but it seemed inherently unfair that this was our answer.”
It seems obvious now that it has been pointed out to me - shelter requires women to leave their homes, to bring their children and whatever belongings they manage to grab on their way out, to what is often a single bedroom and a living space shared with other victims. They may be advised to not leave the shelter for a period of time, to limit their communication, to move their children to a new school. For one woman in the book (who was killed by her partner), going to a shelter would have meant leaving her home, given to her by her father, which she owned. This burden of upending their life should not fall on the woman.
Proposed alternatives to this include things that make perfect sense to me:
Requiring a 72 hour minimum holding time for men who have been arrested on domestic violence charges before they can bail themselves out, giving the victims time to take a breath and make a plan before their abuser returns.
Providing women with resources to meet their basic needs for those 72 hours (grocery money, counseling, employment or housing assistance, bus fare, etc) to put them in a position to make good long term decisions
Using GPS trackers on abusers to intervene early if and when they break any of the conditions of their restraining order
Other well supported solutions in the book were not surprising, but need more work to be fully implemented across the country: limiting access to guns for abusers and enforcing those laws consistently; improving communication between domestic violence advocates (shelter and help-line staff), police, and emergency department care providers to keep track of risky situations and prevent people from falling through the cracks; prison reform that teaches and incentivizes non-violence in addition to other comprehensive rehabilitative programming; changing the way we think and speak about domestic violence to take it seriously and not condone it in our communities, our entertainment, or those in positions of power in this country.
The real solution will include all of it. “Problems are multidimensional and thus treatment must be, too.”
My Review
This book taught me many things - the scope of the problem of domestic violence, the problems with how we view it and deal with it as a society, perspectives of both abused and abuser, ways that various groups and systems are working to reduce and prevent. I have been lucky in that my life experiences have never required me to think about this topic, yet it is important for me to be exposed to since the impact of domestic violence is broad. Having some understanding of the signs, the seriousness, and the resources may save a life. This Danger Assessment Tool seems particularly useful. While the author sometimes jumped around the timeline in a way that I found confusing, I believe this book is worth a read. I give “No Visible Bruises” 4 stars.